01/13/2016
01/13/2016
The sad and sticky workplace scenario: a coworker is dealing with a personal loss and you are struggling with how best to help them. What do you do? Should you jump in and somehow show support or is the best approach to do and say nothing, for fear of doing the wrong thing? Perhaps they just “need their space” or you may be concerned that it is too personal an issue for the office.
The sad and sticky workplace scenario: a coworker is dealing with a personal loss and you are struggling with how best to help them. What do you do? Should you jump in and somehow show support or is the best approach to do and say nothing, for fear of doing the wrong thing? Perhaps they just “need their space” or you may be concerned that it is too personal an issue for the office.
In my article ‘Your Work Family; The Art of Choosing Wisely”,
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/your-work-family-art-choosing-wisely-tammy-williams?trk=prof-post
I shared my experience following my own tragedy of deep, personal loss and my subsequent observations about past and present employers and their unyielding support. While I am not an expert on grief, it is my hope that the following experiences that I had may help you, should you ever find yourself in the presence of a grieving coworker.
- Be sensitive to what your coworker needs. Grief is a process, unique and unpredictable and everyone will movethrough it in their own time and manner. You can help by being supportive with whatever way they find themselves needing to grieve. If they want to talk about their loved one, let them. If they don’t, don’t push them.
- If they want to dive into their work, don’t question their readiness, (notwithstanding matters of safety) since the predictable distraction of project work may be their way of coping.
- The employee will almost certainly, eventually, recognize that they need rest and sleep and to you, they may even seem inflexible because of their insistence on routine. Do your best to support their ‘new normal’ as they might find solace in gaining back some control over an otherwise uncontrollable circumstance.
- Small or large tokens of reassurance and support have been a big part of my healing. From a wall of flowers at the funeral home to donations to a preferred charity to sticky notes on my computer, my ‘work family’ has shown me daily that I am in their thoughts.
Finally, just say SOMETHING. Even an embrace with “there are no words”, or “I don’t know what to say” was fine. By their attempt, their presence and their willingness to be vulnerable, they spoke volumes to me about how much they cared.
In my article ‘Your Work Family; The Art of Choosing Wisely”,
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/your-work-family-art-choosing-wisely-tammy-williams?trk=prof-post
I shared my experience following my own tragedy of deep, personal loss and my subsequent observations about past and present employers and their unyielding support. While I am not an expert on grief, it is my hope that the following experiences that I had may help you, should you ever find yourself in the presence of a grieving coworker.
- Be sensitive to what your coworker needs. Grief is a process, unique and unpredictable and everyone will movethrough it in their own time and manner. You can help by being supportive with whatever way they find themselves needing to grieve. If they want to talk about their loved one, let them. If they don’t, don’t push them.
- If they want to dive into their work, don’t question their readiness, (notwithstanding matters of safety) since the predictable distraction of project work may be their way of coping.
- The employee will almost certainly, eventually, recognize that they need rest and sleep and to you, they may even seem inflexible because of their insistence on routine. Do your best to support their ‘new normal’ as they might find solace in gaining back some control over an otherwise uncontrollable circumstance.
- Small or large tokens of reassurance and support have been a big part of my healing. From a wall of flowers at the funeral home to donations to a preferred charity to sticky notes on my computer, my ‘work family’ has shown me daily that I am in their thoughts.
Finally, just say SOMETHING. Even an embrace with “there are no words”, or “I don’t know what to say” was fine. By their attempt, their presence and their willingness to be vulnerable, they spoke volumes to me about how much they cared.